Ladies, who are the special men in your life?
Is it a father, husband, brother, uncle or a son?
Without a doubt, one of the most special men in my life is my Father! Even from a young age, I had a close connection with my Dad and always looked forward to him coming home from work and getting to put my arms around him. He was gone a lot working three jobs to provide for seven children. I felt bad he had to work so hard and I missed him when he was gone. But I was so grateful he was such a wonderful provider for our family. He taught me about the value of hard work.
He has also shown to be an excellent protector for me, my siblings and my mom, and demonstrated this through action many times. I remember one time when I was in fourth grade, I got in trouble for talking to my friend during a movie we were watching. The teacher in charge was not my teacher, but he punished us for our behavior. He told us to go outside in the hallway and stand with our nose against the wall. After we had been standing there for a few minutes he came out to check on us. He proceeded to stand next to me and reprimanded me, then grabbed my head and pushed my nose into the cinderblock wall. At such a young age it really upset me emotionally. When my Dad found out what had happened after I got home, he called the teacher and yelled at him and told him he better never touch one of his children ever again. This is just ONE small example of the many times my Dad showed protection for me. Because he was protective, I always felt at peace knowing I had him to help keep me safe. He taught me the value of being respected and loved.
A father plays extremely important roles in children’s lives and in family circles all over the world. The most important roles are protector, provider and teacher. Although women can also step into these roles, it has been shown that when children are raised by caring fathers, they have better educational outcomes, verbal skills, intellectual functioning and many other advantages. Some studies suggest that kids that were raised without a father and had no father figure in their lives are more likely to be aggressive and quick to anger, involved in illegal activities, drop out of school due to lack of effort and motivation, and have psychological and emotional problems stop them from creating their own families.
As we recognize the value that fathers and men are in our lives, it can be easier to show our love and appreciation for them. Every person in the world wants to feel special. Men are no different. But, because men and women were not created the same, men need a different approach than women to feel appreciated. What makes a woman happy, is not always what a man needs to feel happy. So, we can’t always rely on showing love to men the way we’d like it to be reciprocated because that’s not how they receive love. Men may not even recognize the act of kindness unless it is something they consider giving them feelings of value.
Just as men and women are fundamentally different in their physical abilities, how they express their feelings, and their personal interests and hobbies, they also prefer different ways to feel loved and valued in relationships and life.
Below are 7 Ways to help make the MEN in your life feel appreciated and loved.
1. Praise and Approval
Did you know that men have tender egos? They aren’t just the rough and tough outer shell that they sometimes like to portray. Just like women, they need frequent reassurance about themselves, their career paths, their efficacy as partners, their sexual skills (if it is your significant other), and their attractiveness.
Give praise and approval by telling him how attractive he is. Let him know what physical features of his are your favorites. Tell him how attractive you find it when he says something a certain way, when he accomplishes something, or when he makes time for you. Your praise will help him feel loved. And, the more you praise his positives, the more you will see them.
One time, I was testing this theory of praising the positives with the men in my life to see how they would respond. As I was more deliberate with the compliments, I noticed that the things I complimented were repeated because they liked the praise. So, not only did it make them feel good, but I had great things reciprocated in my life too! This experiment could be done with any person in your life. I call it the Greyson Challenge, named after my nephew.
Men feel respect as love. If a man feels like you disapprove of him, his career, or the things that he believes to be integral to who he is as a person, he will have a hard time trusting and loving you. Show him that you respect him and the decisions he has made in his life. Tell him. Write him a note. Support him in his efforts.
3. A Sense of Sexual Connection (of course, for your significant other!)
Men need to feel connected to their partner through sex. It may not always need to be sex to make him feel valued though. It could even be just as simple as needing the physical touch of cuddling in bed together. The important thing is to sit down and talk about it. Communication is key. Just him knowing that you want to know what you can do to help him feel loved will go a long way for the relationship and helping him feel valued.
4. Emotional Intimacy
Men need to know they have a place to vent and expose themselves. They need a place to let down their guard and know they won’t be judged for it. They need to be able to get emotional, if needed. He needs to know that he won’t come off as “weak” for opening up to you.
Men need breathing room. Just like women like to get together with their girlfriends from time to time, men need “me” time too. Make sure they get the time they need to pursue hobbies, hang out with other male friends, work on projects, or even time to just relax.
Men need to feel certainty in their life. They feel secure knowing that you approve of them and where they are in their life. They feel secure when you use non-sexual physical touch to show it every day. A hug. A touch on the arm. Or a nudge with the elbow.
- Gift Giving
Another way to show love to the men in your life is to use creative gifts that show they are valued for who they are. Here some examples:
- To the Active Man: Give him Deep Blue Rub with a coupon for a shoulder massage. He will love it because he’ll get the physical touch that he craves.
- To the Fishing Enthusiast: Set up a weekend for him and his buddies to enjoy his favorite hobby—fishing! Make sure to include this portable survival kit, TerraShield spray and a Yeti Tumbler…a place for him to keep his hot drink as he rises in the wee hours of the morning to get the best catch of the day.
- To the Camping Man: Share your man’s excitement in camping by gifting him a couch that you can sit on together as you sit around the fire, a battery-operated diffuser with Citronella oil to keep those pesky bugs at bay, and this handy fire starter to make all your S’mores eating quick and easy.
- To the Grilling Man: Lather your man with compliments as he cooks up the best foods on his outdoor grill. Gift him a book with a plethora of kabob recipes, some kabob grilling baskets, and essential oils to go along with your favorite doTERRA grilling rubs for his next BBQ extravaganza.
- To the Garage Man: Let your man know that his workspace in the garage is his territory to get away and tinker with whatever he wants to work on. This personalized wall hanging for the garage is a perfect complement to his tools and equipment.
- To the Auto Enthusiast: Your man loves to have his car pristine. It’s actually a hobby for him. Help the boy out by giving him a non-toxic cleaning kit to keep his car in perfect condition and smelling its finest. The kit can include a window cleaner, tire cleaner and interior cleaner. Then add in a car diffuser with some bottles of his favorite scents. Here are the recipes:
Window Cleaner: Grab a spray bottle and mix these ingredients together. 4 oz vinegar and 2-3 drops of Lemon essential oil (or other citrus flavors, like Lime, Wild Orange or Grapefruit). Tire Cleaner: Mix 1-part baking soda, 1-part water and 3 drops of your favorite essential oil (suggestions: Lavender, Lime or Lemon) in a container as large as you need. Interior Cleaner:
Put 2 drops of your favorite essential oil on a rag and wipe down the dirty surfaces. Make sure to wipe off any excess oil until the surface is completely dry.
- To the Business Traveler: Let your man know he is appreciated by making his business travels more comfortable. The bathroom bag that includes the Amavi Collection is the perfect compartment to hold all his bathroom necessities. Not only does it provide his body cleansing bar and roll-on cologne, but you can add travel toothpaste, shampoo/conditioner and this cool electric toothbrush too!
- To the Bearded Guy: Have you told him how much you love his facial hair? Help him keep it tame with this great DIY Beard Balm and this awesome trimmer.
- To the Video Gamer Dude: Let your man snuggle up to his PlayStation controller with some nice warm socks and his favorite snacks. Keep these on hand in case there is over-indulging!
No matter what the current state of manhood is, the role of husband and father is invaluable and will never be substituted. I invite you to find ways every day to show appreciation to the men in your life. Don’t forget to pick one of these gift ideas or come up with one of your own thoughtful ways to show them they are loved and to celebrate the upcoming Father’s Day!
You can purchase everything talked about HERE!