Do you have any relationships in your life that leave you feeling angry, unsure, lonely and down? Do you feel like “life” is being sucked out of you when you are around those people?
If you feel this way now with a friend, co-worker, family member or romantic partner, it’s time to detox the TOXIC relationship! It’s time to SPRING CLEAN your relationships!
This is why it’s important to Spring Clean your Relationships! It’s not easy to always recognize that you are in a toxic relationship, so let’s look at all the relationships in your life and then determine how to show yourself LOVE by either setting boundaries, mending and strengthening connections, or ridding yourself of the unhealthy relationships.
5 RELATIONSHIPS TO EVALUATE
#1: Romantic Relationship
Do you feel valued and loved? Does your partner uplift and encourage? Are you able to communicate effectively without feeling like everything is your fault? Does the relationship bring you pleasure? Do they support you in your endeavors?
Do you have a friend who constantly gossips or puts others down? Do you have a friend that only talks about themselves and never seems genuinely concerned with you? When you are already super busy with life, do you waste your time on people who aren’t worth your time? Do your friends inspire and reassure you?
Are any of your relatives or family members unkind or provoke stressful situations? Do they help you feel valued and loved? Do they encourage and motivate? Do they make you feel unloved?
Do you have constant bombardment of someone looking over your shoulder, judging your every move? Does your workspace colleague gossip? Does your boss bully or manipulate you? Do you come home from work feeling depleted, incompetent and angry?
#5: Other Professionals
Do you have a doctor, workout trainer, house cleaner, babysitter, hair stylist, etc. that doesn’t respect your time? Do any of them treat you unkindly? How do you feel after spending time with each of them?
SHOW YOURSELF LOVE
Once you’ve evaluated all of your relationships in life, determine how you will move forward to show yourself love.
In some instances, you’ll find that some of these relationships are too toxic for your health. Like a friend that ends up being more drama than you anticipated. Or, that new hair stylist who told you about all the negative aspects of her job and her life, leaving you feeling sad and upset. In these cases, you need to SPRING CLEAN and take action. Leave those unhealthy relationships behind. Create distance between you and them.
In other instances, where the toxic relationship involves a sibling, a parent, a spouse or another connection that isn’t easily severed, you STILL need to take action. But, this time, instead of ridding them of your life, you’re going to learn how to set boundaries and “let go” of hurt and pain, leaving you able to continue a long-lasting relationship that continues to STRENGTHEN over time.
Defining boundaries is a process of determining what behavior you will accept from others and what you will not. Boundaries include physical boundaries, as well as, emotional boundaries. Physical boundaries include your body, personal space, and privacy. Violations include standing too close, inappropriate touching, even looking through your personal files or your phone. Emotional boundaries involve separating your feelings from another’s feelings. Violations include, taking responsibility for another’s feelings, letting another’s feelings dictate your own, sacrificing your own needs to please another, blaming others for your problems, and accepting responsibility for theirs. Strong boundaries protect your self-esteem and your identity as an individual with the right to make your own choices.
BOUNDARIES are your own invisible force field and YOU ARE IN CHARGE of protecting it!
Make a commitment to yourself to put your own identity, needs, feelings and goals first. Healthy, emotional boundaries come from believing that you are OK just the way you are. Commit to letting go of fixing others, taking responsibility for the outcomes of others choices, saving or rescuing others, needing to be needed, changing yourself to be liked, or depending on others approval.
Diffuse doTERRA’s Motivate Encouraging Blend to help instill confidence, courage and belief. Then, make a list of boundaries you would like to strengthen. Write them down. Visualize yourself setting them and finally, assertively communicate with others what your boundaries are and when they’ve crossed them. Remember, this is a process. Start with a small, non-threatening boundary and experience success before taking on more challenging boundaries.
Some examples of boundaries to start with would be:
- Say no – to tasks you don’t want to do or don’t have time to do.
- Say yes – to help.
- Say thank you with no apology, regret or shame.
- Protect your time – don’t overcommit.
- Speak up if you feel uncomfortable with how someone is treating you or your needs are being infringed upon.
- Honor what is important to you by choosing to put yourself first.
LEARNING HOW TO “LET GO” OF NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
Sometimes the best way to move forward is to find ways to “let go” of negative emotions and forgive.
With the help of doTERRA’s Forgive Renewing Blend, you can begin to feel contentment and relief, creating a path to let go of burdens, guilt and emotional heartache. Rub the oil over your heart, temples and wrists to help you forgive yourself and others and to help counteract negative emotions that may arise from undesirable situations.
In conjunction with the essential oils, I have found one of the most effective ways to work through the hurt, anger, sadness, and pain of a relationship and through a simple yet POWERFUL exercise to use whenever you are struggling with someone and you need to detox your emotions so your relationships can heal and start to be strengthened again. Every time I have used this exercise it brings me to feelings of peace, comfort, and gratitude!
Remember, you are worth it! You are perfect just the way you are! Don’t stay in a toxic relationship and put your health at risk. Face your personal “toxins”, set boundaries, release negative emotions and embrace YOU!
P.S. You can get all of doTERRA’s Emotional Oils in a Kit. I highly recommend them!