I recently watched the inspiring story of Harriet Tubman and couldn’t help but admire this woman’s strength, courage and determination. “…there was one of two things I had a right to, liberty or death; if I could not have one, I would have the other.“ She made it clear many times, she would either live FREE or die. After risking her life to pursue her freedom, she sacrificed her life again and again for countless others to help give them that same gift.
Life during that time was HARD, and I dare say most of us can’t even fathom what the slaves experienced. It also made me think about the many things that we unconsciously and WILLINGLY become a slave to in our own lives. What in your life have you become a slave to? What freedoms have you chosen to take away from yourself?
This can show up in many areas of our lives: money, addictions, food, technology, work, even generational patterns. We have a CHOICE, to continue being controlled or enslaved by these things inside or outside of us. If we have just a fraction of the strength this heroine had, we can break FREE from anything holding us back from becoming the best version of ourselves.
One of the most common addictions that almost all of us have and we may not even realize is the addiction to emotions! I know, right! I would have never thought of that as an addiction but let me expound a little.
Why do people find it so hard to get past trauma?
Turns out that most people spend 70% of their life living in survival and living in stress. They are always anticipating the worst-case scenario based on a past experience and begin to emotionally embrace the worst possible outcome with fear. They are conditioning their body into a state of fear. Do that enough times and the body has a panic attack. You can’t even predict it because it’s programmed subconsciously.
Long-term memories are created from very highly emotional experiences. The stronger the emotional reaction you have to some experience in your life, the more you pay attention to the cause.
Most people think that they can’t control their emotional reaction. They might allow the emotional reaction to last for hours or days, so it’s called a mood. Or they might keep that same emotional reaction going on for weeks or months, so now it’s called a temperament. Or they might keep that same emotional reaction going on for years on end, so now it becomes a personality trait. And, every time someone asks them, “Why are you this way?” They will say, “I am this way because of this event that happened to me days, months, 15 years ago, or whatever the case may be.”
What that means from a biological standpoint is that they haven’t been able to change since that event.
The emotions from the experience tend to give the body and the brain a rush of energy. People become addicted to the rush of those emotions and they use the problems and conditions in their life to reaffirm their limitation, so at least they can feel something. Every time they recall the event, they’re producing the same chemistry in their brain and body as if the event were occurring presently. The same circuits are fired and wired, which sends the same emotional signature to the body. So, the body is believing it’s living in the same past experience 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
Think about this…If you wake up in the morning and you’re not being defined by a vision of the future, as you see the same people and you go to the same places and you do the exact same things at the exact same time, it’s no longer that your personality is creating your personal reality. Now your personal reality is creating your personality.
Your environment is really controlling how you think and feel unconsciously because every person, every thing, every place has a neurological network in your brain. Every experience that you have with every person produces an emotion. Some people will use their boss to reaffirm their addiction to judgment. They’ll use their enemy to reaffirm their addiction to hatred. They’ll use their friends to reaffirm their addictions to suffering. So now, they need the outer world to feel something. So, to change then, is to be greater than your environment, to be greater than the conditions in your world.
Learning how to shorten your refractory period of emotional reaction is really where the work starts and where change can start to happen. The moment you start feeling whole, your healing begins. When you love yourself and you love all of life, you’ll create an equally fulfilling life. That’s the difference between living as a victim in your world, saying “I am this way because of this person, that thing, or this experience” and becoming a creator of your world, saying “My thinking and my feeling is changing an outcome in my life.” Now, that’s a whole different game. We start believing that we’re creators of our reality.
So, the question is, are you tired of emotions from past experiences that are running your life? Would you like to know some tools that could help you create a life of more JOY?
I have three tools I have used personally that have helped me to become FREE from the chains of those emotions from the past.
- Meditation- Why is meditation so effective? Well, you sit down, close your eyes, and disconnect from your outer environment. There is less stimulation going on in your brain. You’re telling your body, “Stay right there. I’m going to feed you. You can get up and check your emails and texts later, but right now you’re going to sit there and obey me.” The body wants to go back to its emotional past, and you become aware that your attention is on that emotion. Your body is looking for that predictable chemical state. Every time you become aware that you’re doing that, your body is craving those emotions and you settle it back down to the present moment. You’re telling the body that it’s no longer the mind. You are the mind. And now, your will is getting greater than the program. If you keep doing this repeatedly, your body will finally surrender, and we FREE ourselves from these emotions that we have been addicted to. I highly recommend finding a meditation app you can use daily or finding meditations you like on YouTube. My favorite app to use is called Gaia. Just 10 minutes a day will change your life.
- Affirmations- Once you have cleared your emotions from the past, the next step is to affirm and fill the mind with positive thoughts, energy and feelings. One of the simplest and fastest ways to do this is through affirmations. Meditation is the tool that helps pull the weeds out of the garden and positive affirmations are like the new seeds you decide you want to plant in the soil that will begin to grow into a beautiful flower garden. As you feed and nurture your garden with positive affirmations you will begin to manifest what you truly want. You can receive my “31 Days of Connection” email series for FREE here where I have included daily intentional actions, along with positive affirmations to help you create more JOY and fulfillment in your life. Also, if you would like, you can get my Daily Affirmation Cards here.
- Anchoring- This is a powerful technique for controlling thoughts and emotions, allowing you to choose your state of mind. Anchoring is done through sight, touch, sound or smell. Aromatic anchoring happens during inhalation. Aromatic compounds travel through the nose and connect at receptor sites, which sends an immediate message through parts of the brain, known as the “emotional brain.” This part of the brain regulates memories, emotions, motivation, stress levels, hormone balance, sexual arousal and instincts. Through SMELL, we can create powerful emotions and memories and draw upon those established connections at will. When we CHOOSE to anchor a scent to a mind state, we can become intentional and take charge of our productivity and success at work and in relationships. It’s like the warmth of the SUN or WATER being poured into your flower garden signaling the flowers to continue to grow and BLOOM right where they are planted without having to do a thing. My favorite way of anchoring is through using doTERRA’s Emotional Aromatherapy Kit daily while saying my affirmations out loud.
Remember, unconscious thoughts, behaviors and emotions are what create your reality in life. You can learn to change in a state of pain and suffering, or you can learn and change in a state of joy and inspiration. Implementing these three simple tools daily will FREE you from those emotions that you have been addicted to for a long time. Do you want to continue to be in bondage to the emotional chains that have run your life, or will you be inspired by Harriet Tubman and choose to be FREE from being a slave?
My 31 Days of Connection program is an amazing tool to implement into your life. It’s an easy 10 min practice that will start your day completely PEACEFUL, and it’s FREE!
I love my affirmations, so I created these Daily Affirmation Cards to use along with my daily practices.